We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
