Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think my mom watched the whole time
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
