I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
