if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
