Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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