no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His nipple licking is glorious
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