If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
