after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
