Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
