I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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