I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
