When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize