Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
