Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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