WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
