Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
