hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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