just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
third nipple confirmed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
