Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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