It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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