My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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