I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
