let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
