Will you blow on my dice?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
