Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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