U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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