Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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