he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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