doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
