I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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