Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
