We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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