Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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