so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
