PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
