also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize