Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
