You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
