It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
