No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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