i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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