i was born a porn star she said
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
