Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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