I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
