im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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