Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
