I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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