i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
