Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
