i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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