plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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