turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
