He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
