i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
