Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
