there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
