I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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