CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize